So, what is this shit? I have been wandering around lately. I had a really good time, met people, had fun, lots of wine, tobacco, drugs and yet I feel empty. It’s so empty, I sometimes confuse emptiness with fullness.
The truth is, I have a serious problem. I can’t really see the difference between love and friendship, or is it the same? Is there something in between? Can you really separate affection from affection (both have affection, don't they?) Doesn't your heart beat to both, or does it beat stronger for some and weaker for others, and if it does, who said that the stronger beat connotes love and not friendship?
I love you, but you are my friend (your what...?). I love you (and…?). I love you in a different way (different…?). I love the way you look (how do I look...?). I love you but not exactly the way you think (what do I think...?).
Haa, I love you all!
You are my best friend (they say)!
You are such a good guy (again they say)!
You are a clever guy (I love this line)!
You are balanced (who are you talking about?)
You are funny and spontaneous (for once again, they say)!
Haa, for once more, I love you all!
COME ON! Give me a break! You love a gentle soul, someone to talk to, be straight, not afraid to confront you, provide security, what? ; isn’t that what you whisper around? Or is it just a prince charming from fairy tales. Now - Give me a BREAK!
There was once a beautiful girl who fell in love with a prince charming. He kissed her in moonishly passion and she had a vision. She saw their life together; a revelation, something she’s been waiting for her whole life. And they lived happily ever after.
When are people going to see that the hardest achievement in life is RELATIONSHIPS?
When there’s nothing more you can do to set your mind free you better think about becoming a philosopher (no offence to philosophers, I cherish their love for the subject, and yes I know you seek the truth but so am I). It's probably the only way to give rise to questions you have never dared think about in the past.
Or, you can just join the army (I dont care who's offended by this).
Meet me tonight, to kiss goodbye (where were you lately?).
Join me for a dance tonight (translation: watch me dance, btw I love the way you dance).
Ohh dear, it’s been so long, I missed you so much (they still keep your number behind the spider web).
Oh my God, I know you; you are that guy we hosted repeatedly for some years in a row (haa, they do remember!).
Join me, entertain me, while I f*** with everyone else (how lovely, I really can’t wait).
I can’t be expecting much more from anyone, I probably do the same; I am no better; at all (really, I am not, I am just feeling a bit frustrated right now)!
But I need to write them down.
I don’t believe any of the above are deliberate on anyone's part; it’s just the way it is. You can either live with it or without.
Come on people, throw that wall down!
Ólafur Arnalds - ...and they have escaped the weight of darkness
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Born in 1987, Ólafur Arnalds hails from the suburban Icelandic town,
Mosfellsbær, just a few kilometres outside of Reykjavík. He is an extremely
talented ...
1 year ago
I want to be with you but not.. with you, i want you to travel with me but i want to be free, i want to take the leap but not right now, Im sleping with you and thinking of him/her, i am with you all, but im not. Cause I put the wall there. We've all been through friendship, love, hate, affection and... "affection". what will happen if we break the wall down this time? Relashions are the hardest thing indeed and i don't like happy ending remember...! :P
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see your post, whoever you are!
ReplyDeleteYou can be with me and then don’t… you can travel with me but be free; you can take the leap whenever your heart desires but do not sleep with me and think of him.
We build those walls to protect ourselves from what..? From feelings? Nature…? Aren’t we supposed to experience their full potential? They exist to be found.
How can true relationships exist if there are not true feelings involve. Illusion seems like a second nature… instead of seeking the truth we are afraid of being hurt.
How can we accept feelings unless we’re honest with ourselves? Do we ever know what we seek? Do we ever see the damage behind or even within those walls?
We probably don't, that's why the kind of walls we are ‘built in’ can break the spirit of purity of emotions.
Happy endings seem harder than relationships, and they are because they never existed...:)
timeless questions/observations...
ReplyDeletei mostly wonder what brought this on, what (who) the trigger was. welcome to the blogging world :)
We build these walls because we want to feel safe, to be "free",to live like we want to, before we go 6 feet under! But living inside these walls is a lonely thing (sometimes) and if the wall is high you really don't expect that someone is gonna climp it (or he/she gonna start climbing, if you don't throw them down, sooner or later that someone will climb down that wall and find someone else with a fence... or just a safty net...
ReplyDeletewe all need to feel safe but no one can live alone (for long anyway...)
chaoticmine, nice to see your post, people around me triggered this passage. its one of those moments when u see a 'frustrating light' at the end of the tunnel (at least, that's how it felt). u get out of the tunnel and there is no one waiting for you. feelings that we realise but cannot express or change. maybe we can understand them a bit through discussion.
ReplyDeletechris, nice to see your post as well, its true i think, no one can live alone. feeling safe comes with the basic needs of life but i also believe that as harder our resistance becomes (due to our insecurities), the harder life can be.
we all experience these walls differently.
i think i know the feeling. funny, i had one of these long discussions about relationships etc. with a friend the other day- i don't think it got us anywhere at the end, just more food for thought :)
ReplyDeletePS: word verification does not work on my browser :(
haa yes, its like a dead end, but this food gives new insights - or maybe new tastes? :)
ReplyDelete:) true
ReplyDelete